In the first part, I stated that there is power in a name. A person’s name is everything. A person’s name gives an individual so much power that they may not even be aware of.
As a society, when it comes to child-naming, many do not put too much thought into it. It has become the norm, so to say. Some would say, “I named my child because that was my father’s or mother’s name and I’d like to honor them.” Others might say they picked the name because they wanted something different and creative, or because that is the name they always wanted. Sometimes it’s simply, “I just like that name.” Like… Wow! That’s not so much fun. Lol. But, understood.
What is in a Name?
How many of us, TRULY investigated our names, let alone our children’s names?
Luckily, I was blessed to grow up around such a diverse school and grew up with them through grade school from pre-K, kindergarten to 4th, 5th and for some all the way to high school. I was in school with students from Russia, Ukraine, Samoa, Philippines, Mexico, all shades from black, white, yellow, green, and the list goes on.
In our younger grades, I recall many of these students going by different names. Later, by mid-grade, their names were changed to something simpler. For example, the Russian students going by Sasha then, were changed to Alex. And we were to call them Alex from here on out. As a child, of course you don’t understand but you do it because that is what you were told.
Not knowing their truth or why their names were changed, it brings lots of questions. Did they change their name because that was easier to say and pronounce? Was it because a group of individuals got tired of attempting to try to learn the correct pronunciation? Was it because they felt like they had to fit in? Not sure. But all I can say and know is my own truth. And why my name changed.
So why talk about this? Why make this such a big deal, Keji? I mentioned briefly in part one that the biggest reason is conforming from the foster system. At the age of 13, I was forced to change my name when I got adopted.
Forced, Morenikeji?
Yes, forced!
There was a period when I was asked, what would I like to change my name to? I came up with the various options and, of course, I had some outlandish names. But the question was, “What would YOU like to change YOUR name to?” The names I came up with were all denied, so I was like, “If I can’t change it, then don’t change it.
“What is your name? Toby.”
“My name is Kunta Kinte”
- Excerpt from the movie ‘Roots’.
But, for some reason, that was not an option. In order not to appear disrespectful, I had to give in to the name suggested. After all, I was just a kid. “You don’t know what you want,” they’ll say. Even trying to express this to others meant nothing and didn’t matter. So here we are.
“What is your name? Toby.”
“My name is Toby…. My name is Toby….”
Stripped!
This was another point in life where my power was stripped away from me. So, because of this adoption period, I am often pissy and miserable for being forced into accepting a name I do not want. And hell becomes even more real.
I say that because there are so many foster and adopted youths that come from different countries to the US that have their name stripped from them in order to fit into these new “ideal” families and the society. Stripped from them to fit into a culture or model that is not them. And as many, like myself, didn’t have a voice to speak up and stand up for what they want and their true self.
So let me assist in being a voice. Let me assist by telling my story. Let me assist in voicing how and why this is SO vital. Let me assist in shedding light on a different version of what can or does happen as a child goes through the foster system as a youth and the outcome it can produce.
The Backstory
I am from an African culture, a tribe called Yoruba. The Yorubas are from West Africa. Now, what some may know – or not know – is that the African culture in general is a really religious and spiritual one and they take things seriously. Some things we do may not make much sense to others, but there is always a reason behind it.
I am not sure how I have always remembered my name(s) from a little age and held onto it, but I did. When going to school, I realized many of the students only had a first, middle and last name. So simple. And I always wondered why I had four. And not just four, but a different name was used in different settings. As an example, at home, I was called one name, at school, I go by a different name and from my peers, another. I never fully understood it, until I asked. Why do I have four names? And then the story was told to me.
In our tradition, when a woman is pregnant, they reach out to their favorite relatives and ask, “What should I name my child?” And the name will be given. According to my story, my mother have four favorites, giving me four first names and that would begin the course of the journey of my life.
Now at an older age, I start to see how my name(s) have played out, indirectly without force and usage. I just lived and see how the characteristics of my names have played out.
My Name, My Pride
As I said in part 1, “…I would say my whole name. With eloquence and grace, I would say all four names and then hit them hard with my last name. With the stank face. With the E-40 ‘eghh!’ at the end. Lol… I used to take a lot of pride in my name, in who I am, who I was.”
Ok. Ok. So, what is this amazing, long name that I possess, that I just have to speak on it? My birth name is: Olúfúnṣọ́ Ademilola Abayomi Morenikeji (you don’t need to know my last name, lol.)Who wouldn’t have pride in a name like that?
Ok, yeah, it looks and sounds good. But, what is this name? Let’s dig deeper.
Olúfúnṣọ́: God has given me to watch over.
Ademilola: My crown is Honorable/My crown is my wealth.
Abayomi: My enemies tried to mock me, but God didn't let them.
Morenikeji: I have found someone like me.
Like what?????!!!!!! Lol!
So, with such a name, how and why would one run away from that? With such a name, how can someone tell you that:
▪ you are not smart?
▪ you are not wealthy and rich or you are destined to live in poverty?
▪ you are not worthy?
▪ you are not reliable?
▪ you are not trustworthy?
▪ you are not protected and watched over?
▪ you are alone?
I can keep going on but all of those things I was told and started to believe at some point. I fell for the lies.
Imagine if I had that truly stayed with my name instead of settling. Imagine if I stood on my name, as I stood on the name of Jesus. Imagine if a person tried to put me down. I would have said, “You can’t say that to me because I AM Olúfúnṣọ́ Ademilola Abayomi Morenikeji. So what you are calling me is a not true because I walk in my name and the power of my truth.”
Let that sink in. Powerful, right?
So as individuals go on their mission to find their true heritage through ancestry.com or do a DNA search, I will highly suggest that you too start to learn your name, the meaning and power behind it. And guess what? To do so, it is free.
No $99 monthly membership.
No cost for someone who doesn’t know you to tell you who YOU are.
No cost at all.
I’m just saying. As you go through this journey called life, continue to live. Continue to learn. Continue love. And stay F.L.Y!!!
who am I? Morenikeji.
Who are you?
Drop a comment of your name and its meaning. I would love to hear from you.
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